Its a beautiful day here in paradise! The sun is shining and its rather chilly out there! I see daffodils and other signs of life popping up around the yard. I do believe - that Spring has sprung! Woo hoo!
Yesterday was my baby girl's 10th birthday! WOW! 10 years old. It seems like yesterday that she was born 4 weeks premature and I already knew she was going to be a handful! <3 My sweet sweet little monkey - Cara!
10 years old...such a difficult and unreal time in my life...I never really knew that my being 10 years old was different than any other little boy or girl being 10 years old. Didn't everyone get punished so severely for doing poorly in school? You mean you weren't hit with a wooden paddle until you could hardly stand? Or stood in the corner at the bottom of the steps or in the garage for hours on end? Or yelled at for not doing something the proper way - or her way? Or sent to bed without dinner because you wouldn't "rat" on your sibling for something that they had done - so you were both punished? Never told you were loved? Rarely touched in a positive manner - no hugs - very few kisses? Just another day at 10 years old. And somewhere around that year - is when the fondling began...punishment between him and I for poor grades, not being good at home, not getting things just so...
10 years old for my oldest daughter - now that was another fun year. That's the year that the world came crashing down around us. That's when the twin towers fell. That's the year that I finally told my adopted mother all the things that her husband had done to me...and that's the year that I walked away from all the years of lies, shattered dreams, and abuse. I lost so much that year...but I gained so much more. I no longer had aunts, uncles, parents, siblings and years worth of friends. They were all part of the package deal of that family...so I took my rag tag remnants of my previous life...and my husband and our children and we burst forward as one small and united family! Kind of like our own small independence day! I wouldn't trade it for the world...well, maybe just a few things...
This is a new year - an anniversary of old and shattered things. And the coming of new and exciting things! The year of evens! Cara 10, Connor 12, Cristopher 16 and Casey 20! Bring it on, GOD! We are ready for the next chapter in Your good book!
